New year resolutions have been one of the most searched topic on the new year eve. Though at first the resolutions are considered very serious by many, now they turned hilarious with time. There are many people that make memes and jokes out of resolutions and spread on the new year eve to make their friends laugh. If you are one among them then here are the New Year Resolutions Jokes for you. You can use these resolution jokes to wish your close ones like friends, siblings or neighbors.
Hilarious New Year Resolution Jokes
The new year resolution jokes are meant to be so funny that one would end up laughing for quite a while on reading them. The main purpose of these funny resolutions is to make the other person laugh. Especially as we are using these resolution jokes to wish our friends on the new year eve, it is a good thing that our intention is purely to make them laugh. Make your dear ones new year a very special one with these Hilarious New Year Resolutions that we have presented here.
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You will be delighted to see their reactions on reading your funny new year resolution. Other than using these wishes as personal messages, you can also post them online in social media platforms for everyone out there to see. It would be a great idea to share happiness on the new year eve. So, we suggest our readers to spread smile on the faces of your friends and relatives through various means by sending in these new year funny resolution jokes. These will certainly end up the other person laughing out louder.
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My New Year’s resolution is to help all my friends gain ten pounds so I look skinnier.
New Year’s Resolution: To tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time.
I will not bore my boss with the same excuse for taking leaves. I will think of some more excuses.
I was going to quit all my bad habits for the new year, but then I remembered that nobody likes a quitter.
I will come up with new excuses for not doing work rather than boring my boss with the same old ones that I have been using for years.
May all your troubles last as long as your New Years resolutions?
I will Buy new clothes big enough to account for next year’s holidays.
On this new year, I will Consider taking up a new hobby such as procrastination. Or maybe later
New Years Eve forecast: Mostly drunk with a slight chance of passing out.
I will visit the grocery more often than restaurants, especially when free samples are being served.
I will exercise more self-control, though I already have a rule not to drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
People think New Years is a life-changing event. If your life sucked last year, it’s probably still going to suck tomorrow.
In the coming year, I will Stop drinking orange juice after I’ve just brushed my teeth.
A New Year’s resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.
New Year’s is just a holiday created by calendar companies who don’t want you reusing last year’s calendar.
New Year’s Day: Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.
My New Year’s resolution is to be more optimistic by keeping my cup half-full with either rum, vodka, or whiskey.
I will Save some money for a rainy day. That way I can shop online instead of having to go to an actual store.
I was going to quit all my bad habits for the new year …
… but then I remembered that nobody likes a quitter
On New Year’s Eve, Marilyn stood up in the local pub and said that it was time to get ready. At the stroke of midnight, she wanted every husband to be standing next to the one person who made his life worth living. Well, it was kind of embarrassing. As the clock struck, the bartender was almost crushed to death.
What happened to the man who shoplifted a calendar on New Year’s Eve? He got 12 months!
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